Hi There,
I've been MIA for a bit. And to be honest, I have no legitimate reason, other than procrastination and anxiety. So I'm back and have plans to write more because I'm realizing more and more that it's therapeutic for me. Getting my thoughts out and on paper (or on the screen) is actually freeing.
I turned 40 back in January this year. I cannot believe it. I sure do not feel 40 nor do I look 40. I remember, when I was younger, my aunts would never say their age, but I am not like that. I think I secretly like to see that shocked expressions on people's faces when they find out exactly how old I am. I think I like being 40. I can comfortably say this in the month of June.
Last year, my secondary school friends (the convent girls) were trying to do something big this year to celebrate the fact that almost all of us were turning 40. But when I realized that that wasn't going to happen, I decided that I wanted to do something for myself and celebrating reaching this milestone in life. I decided to play mas and it was an interesting experience. But before carnival, there was my actual birthday in January.
Approximately, three weeks before my birthday, while trying to finalize plans for another friend's birthday which happened to be a few days before mine, my birthday plans were set in motion. So in one phone call, the venue was decided, the number of people I wanted to attend, the time and a general idea of food. Everything was confirmed and finalized one week before my birthday. Even though it was a Wednesday, I wanted to celebrate it on the day. After all, I would only be turning 40 once.
Finally, it was the birthday Wednesday and everyone attended. Unknowingly, I chose the right mix of friends. Even though everyone didn't know all who came, they blended well. Conversations flowed. We drank wine. We laughed. We took pictures. They sang happy birthday. We ate cake. We had more wine. We got tipsy. We all had an amazing time. Some of us even went out to have more drinks after. I must admit that it was my best birthday ever. I am so thankful to that one friend who, after hearing about my disasters of past birthdays, insisted that this one needed to be different.
For me, turning 40, meant that I wanted to be happy....genuinely happy. So this year, I decided to say yes to new experiences and thus far I have said yes a few times more than I would have compared to the past. I think I'm on the right track. Now, as much as I am saying yes, I am also saying no and learning that it is ok to say no without providing a justification to anyone but myself. What exactly am I saying no to?...... I'm saying no to things and people that drain my energy. I'm also saying no to things I do not like. I am at that age (ha ha ha I could not wait to start using this phrase) where I do not have to do anything, go anywhere or interact with anyone that I do not like. So I'm just not going to do it. Andddddddd I'm going to not do it and provide an explanation. Just a simple "no". That's it.
So here's to being fabulous at 40 and having an amazing year full of happiness and new experiences.
See you soon.....
Toodles,
This Pretty Nerd
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